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Radee Labeeb Prince Arrest: Full Story & Must-See Pictures

Radee Labeeb Prince, 37, has been arrested Wednesday evening after he allegedly shot five people at his workplace in Edgewood, Maryland, shooting five people and killing three. The suspect also allegedly shot a sixth person in Wilmington, Delaware, more than 50 miles away from the original shooting at Emmorton Business Park.

Sources say he was apprehended by police, while on foot along Four Seasons Parkway near Clover Mill Drive in Newark, Delaware, at around 7 p.m. Wednesday.

Prince allegedly shot five of his coworkers at Emmorton Business Park in Edgewood, Maryland. A total of three people died from the shooting, while the other two suffered injuries.


Night Crumbs

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Tidal (yes, it still exists) held a hurricane relief benefit concert at Barclays Center in Brooklyn last night, and I guess Beyonce decided to pay tribute to Puerto Rico by dressing up in Jennifer Lopez drag. And poor Gorgon Heap from The Muppet Show. He was obviously butchered to make that stole – Lainey Gossip

Marchesa’s Damage Control Express has made a stop off at People Magazine – Celebitchy

Blac Chyna is suing all of the Kartrashians. And that means that there’s a chance that Chyna and Pimp Mama Kris’ kin will all be in a court room together. Okay, who’s going to pay off the bailiff to let a pride of lions into the court room before locking the door? – Reality Tea

Colton Haynes and Billy Eichner say that they laughed while filming their American Horror Story sex scene. I bet, but they would’ve really, really laughed if Colton Haynes was the top in that scene  – Towleroad

The towels are emoting more sexiness than Bella Hadid is in her bathroom selfie videos – Drunken Stepfather

Don’t look now, but that copy catter Bella Thorne is wearing the casual look you wear to run errands on a Sunday – Hollywood Tuna

Nina Dobrev wore a salsa dress by Laura Ashley and I’m kind of into it – Popoholic

In other words, Rose Leslie is my idol for humiliating Jon SnowPajiba

Say something nice about this new pic of Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury: Well, at least we can’t see those tragic fake chipmunk teef he wore in the last pics – OMG Blog

Gold medal-winning Olympian McKayla Maroney has come forward to say she was one of Larry Nassar’s victims – Just Jared

Pic: Instagram

Radar Says That Abby Lee Miller Got Banned From A Prison Play Because Nobody Likes Her

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I barely made it past season two of Orange is The New Black but at least it’s given me a good working knowledge of the ins and outs of a women’s correctional facility. New arrivals should keep their head down, find a crew and not act whiny, privileged and obnoxious. Sounds like Abby Lee Miller, formerly of Dance Moms and currently of Cell Block 666, did not add “binge watch OITNB” to her pre-prison activities list because she’s totally pulled a Piper. According to Radar, everybody in prison hates her as much as everyone on the outside does.

Radar reports:

Abby Lee Miller’s dance career behind bars is over before it even started! RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned that fellow inmates have barred the 51-year-old former Dance Moms star from performing in the upcoming Fall Festival at California’s Federal Correctional Institute, Victorville, because they’re “fed up” with her bad attitude!

“The Fall Festival is where all of the women come together to celebrate. They put on dance skits and such. But they refused to even allow Abby to participate because they simply do not like her,” an insider told Radar.

Poor Abby! Barred from the one thing she was born to do; star as Roxie Hart in the Victorville State Pen production of Chicago! I bet she had been practicing so hard, doing a little Cell Block Tango after lights out and annoying everybody by screaming “I didn’t do it!” and “Lipshitz!” when everybody else was trying to sleep.

Radar adds:

“Aside from the few friends that she’s paid off with commissary cash, the majority of the women think she is a narcissistic bitch!”

Not our Abby Lee! She probably convinced her “friends” to use their commissary budgets to buy her makeup and costumes for the Fall Festival. She was going to use peanut butter for foundation, dab Kool-Aid powder on her lips and make a wig out of Top Ramen. She may be in the pokey but Abby still knows how to put on a show! But that’s all over now.

Sources say Abby insists she doesn’t deserve to be there and that she’s not being serious about what comes next. Since July, she’s been working on a 366-day sentence. Once she completes that, she’ll go off to a halfway house. Sadly, I have no doubt some network would love to do a show about the post-prison notorious child screamer-atter Abby Lee Miller. It worked for Roxie Hart. Why shouldn’t it work for Abby Lee?

Pic: Wenn.com

Taylor Swift’s New Album Is (Shockingly) A Burn Book Sing-A-Long

Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss in Tribeca

Back in the day (in my head), you could stick a piece of coal up one of the buttholes of Taylor Swift’s exes and watch it turn into a diamond from them clenching so hard with anxiety over what she wrote about them on an upcoming album. An entire Zales line came from John Mayer! This time around, though, the clenching is coming from all the meanie ex-friends who wronged Miss Swift!

Us Weekly reports that Taylor will release Reputation, her sixth album, on November 10, and it will mostly be about her foes like Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, Katy Perry, and (because this is TSwift after all) ex-boyfriend Calvin Harris. A source says that she’s “definitely coming for the Grammys” with this one. Another source says she “only” has one song on the album about new boyfriend Joe Alwyn while another said the rest of the tracks are all about dRaMmmAAAaaaA:d

“It will be across multiple songs, somewhat cryptically but also obvious.”

Since we’re on the subject of Taylor’s possible enemies and frenemies, The Blast reports that Karlie Kloss is hosting a talk show on Freeform called Movie Night With Karlie Kloss. The show will entail Karlie inviting over famous friends for “movies, games, baking, and fun.” This so sounds like the sleepover from high school you didn’t want to get invited to when all the cool kids were at a better sleepover for “weed, kegs, and fucking.” Rachel Bilson, Martha Hunt, Jourdan Dunn, Ashley Graham, Kendall Jenner, Serena Williams, and Kaia Gerber will join Karlie for cookies and movies like Dirty Dancing. Even though sources claim all is well with Taylor and Karlie, Taylor is notably off the list of celebs stopping by Karlie’s show.

A source says Taylor declined politely to be on the Freeform show because of scheduling issues. But in my head, this was as middle school of a fight as you can get:

Karlie: Wanna come to my sleepover?

Taylor: No, bitch. You invited that fish-lipped Kardashian-adjacent.

Karlie: Fine, I’m not inviting you to my sleepover. And you won’t get any cookies.

Taylor: Fine, I’m going to write a song about your Midwest cankles. And not even include it in the main album because it wouldn’t even crack the Bottom 200 ‘cuz you irrelevant!!

And scene.

Pic: Wenn.com

68-Year-Old Billy Joel Is Going To Be A Dad Again

A Bronx Tale Opening - Arrivals

Billy Joel’s 68-year-old sperm should be retired and spending their days rocking on a wooden chair on the porch inside his balls, but they’re working just as hard as ever. Billy casually spilled the new baby beans during a recent interview with the Belfast Telegraph. While chilling in Billy’s vintage bike shop, his very-pregnant 35-year-old fourth wife Alexis Roderick walked in with their 2-year-old daughter Della Rose.

Billy announced their arrival by saying, “That’s my wife. We are due next month.” This will be Billy Joel’s third kid after Della and Alexa Ray Joel, his 31-year-old daughter with Christie Brinkley.

But what if Billy wants to take a seniors nap at the same time as his new baby? Babies can be fussy about falling asleep. Luckily Billy already has that covered. I recently rented a car that had SiriusXM (fancy) and the person before me had it programmed to the Billy Joel channel. The channel is just Billy muttering about whatever while tooling around at the piano. It’s like liquid Ambien for the ears. I had to turn it off before I rear-ended a car. Whenever his new baby gets restless, he can just close the blinds and flip on his Sirius channel, and they’ll both be out like a light.

Pic: Wenn.com

Newport News Wawa Shooting: Full Story & Must-See Details

Newport News Wawa Shooting: Full Story & Must-See Details

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A shooting has been reported at a Wawa conveince store in Newport News, Virginia. Police are currently on the scene, investigating the incident and looking for the shooter.

At this moment, it is unknown how many people were shot and the extent of the injuries are currently unknown.

The shooting took place at the Wawa located at 12095 Jefferson Avenue in Newport News, just before 5 p.m. Wednesday.

Check back as this story develops.

E! Is Putting “Fashion Police” Out To Pasture

2014 Pre-Grammy Gala & Grammy Salute to Industry Icons - Clive Davis

Even though Fashion Police has survived in some form or fashion after Joan Rivers’ passing in 2014, it hasn’t really felt the same since none of the remaining cast knows how to tell a good dry pussy joke. The execs at E! must long for those days because they’ve decided to cancel the show and send it off with a farewell next month.

Variety reports the show that was Joan’s major platform in the years leading up to her death will feature a series finale special on November 27. It will be hosted by Joan’s daughter Melissa Rivers as well as Giuliana Rancic, Brad Goreski, NeNe Leakes, and Margaret Cho. And so goes another direct deposit for the fallen Georgia peach

Fashion Police started in 2010, and when Joan died, the show went into a bit of a tailspin. Kathy Griffin was brought in to take over for Joan, but things went off the rails when Giuliana said Zendaya’s 2015 Oscar lewk must smell like patchouli and weed. Kelly Osbourne quit that bitch, and Kathy followed suit. The show was repurposed into the occasional special with Melissa as the new host, but it never recovered post-Joan, which Fashion Police’s executive producer Gary Snegaroff sort of implied when all he talked about was Joan in his statement:

“What’s been consistent through all the years has been a love of fashion, and that started with Joan. The only thing she loved more than fashion was getting a laugh, so this combined her two loves. She always felt that fashion was something to be discussed, not to be taken too seriously, and that’s the show we put together.”

The finale will feature clips from an unaired 80s-themed episode as well as segments from the show like “Bitch Stole My Look” and “Guess Me From Behind.” Sigh, “Guess Me From Behind” is my favorite 1AM game to watch after the bar. You know whatever bland show they replace Fashion Police with isn’t going to feature ass games!

Pic: Wenn.com

Open Post: Hosted By The First Picture From The “Roseanne” Revival 

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All together now: WHERE ART THOU FUCKING CRYSTAL?

29 years ago today, Roseanne debuted on ABC, and… wait, hold up for a second. I have to buzz my nurse to bring me a fresh big boy nappy along with my lunch of blended peas porridge. I made a poopy in the diaper she put on me this morning. And yes, I’m writing this from a nursing home since I’m old. I’m “I remember watching Roseanne’s pilot episode” old.

Yesterday, ABC celebrated the 29th anniversary of Roseanne’s birth by tweeting pictures from a table read for the revival, which comes out next year. From left to right is: the legendary Laurie Metcalf, Roseanne, D.J. Conner, the little girl who plays D.J.’s daughter, someone I don’t know, executive producer Whitney Cummings (yes, she’s an EP for some reason), another someone I don’t know, the Beckys, John Goodman, Sara Gilbert, Darlene’s gender creative child, and some others I don’t know. David (played by Johnny Galecki) is still “in talks” to join them all. And I’m assuming that in the picture above, John Goodman is covering his nose from a butt burp pooted out by one of the Beckys. Becky #1 totally blamed it on Becky #2 and vice versa.

Here’s another picture shared by actress Emma Kenney who plays the grown-up Harris Healey (aka Darlene and David’s daughter):

There’s something really, really off about these pictures. It’s weird how they’re all happy and smiling when the regular cast is incomplete! I already mentioned Crystal, but where’s Roseanne’ uppity cousin Ronnie (played by Dame Joan Collins), Nancy (played by Sandra Bernhard), Beverly (played by Estelle Parsons) and Morgan Fairchild?! How can they all agree to do that shit without those highly important five characters? I guess a check is a check. Scabs!

Pic: @RoseanneOnABC

David Cross Doesn’t Remember Saying Racist Stuff To Charlyne Yi

David Cross at Today FM

October is turning into the month of honesty (sorry Halloween, take a lap) and the most recent moment of honesty came from actress Charlyne Yi. On Monday, Charlyne told a story on Twitter about the first time she met comedian David Cross. It wasn’t a great meeting, and Charlyne alleges that David made her feel shitty with some racist comments. David responded by saying that he’s sorry, but he doesn’t remember that happening.

Charlyne’s meeting with David Cross happened when she was 20 (she’s now 31) and he was about 42 (he’s now 53). David led off with a crack about her poor people pants. Oooh, excuse you David Cross, we don’t all have Chimpmunks money. Then it got ugly. Charlyne is of Filipino and Korean decent (as well as other backgrounds), and she says all he saw was “Asian,” and made a couple of Mr. Yunioshi-like jokes.

David Cross responded to Charlyne’s tweets yesterday with a little explanation of what he thinks happened ten years ago. David is sorry and claims he sincerely doesn’t remember meeting her. And while he doesn’t accuse Charlyne of lying, he wonders if they’re both remembering the meeting wrong.

Rashomon is Japanese. Charlyne isn’t Japanese. So at the very least, David might want to brush up on what Asian thing belongs to what Asian culture. Although I can see that being an awful lot of work for someone who could only manage to spell Charlyne’s name right once in his apology.

Pic: Wenn.com

Hot Slut Of The Day!

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Odin, the guardian angel in a Great Pyrenees’ body who saved the lives of his goat friends from the wine country fires in California.

So far, the asshole demon fires in Northern California’s wine country have killed over 40 people, eaten thousands of homes and have left 100,000 people homeless. Many are still missing. The situation is many layers of bad, but like with some tragedies, there is a ray of heroic happiness in the field of awful. And just like with the Mexico City earthquake, this ray of heroic happiness is a dog! If cats could read human words and read that last part, they could put out the wine country fires with their projectile barfing.

Odin is a one-and-a-half year old Great Pyrenees who lives with humans, cats, dogs and eight bottle-fed rescue goats on a property near Santa Rosa. Odin’s human Roland Tembo Hendel wrote on Facebook (via The Sacramento Bee) about having to flee their house from the fires on October 9th. A mandatory evacuation of Roland’s area was called at 10am, and just thirty minutes later, his nostrils took in the scent of smoke.  Roland and his family saw the flames about 40 minutes later. They wrangled up their dogs and cats, but Odin refused to leave. You know that one do-gooder in disaster movies who screams at the others, “I am not leaving! You go! Save yourselves!” Odin is like that, only way more adorable and way less self-congratulatory.

Roland thinks that Odin didn’t want to leave the goats behind, and so the family made the decision to go without him. They cried thinking that they just said a forever goodbye to Odin and the goats (Note to you: Don’t even think about it. I’ve already called “Odin and The Goats” for my band name).

“I made a decision to leave him, and I doubt I could have made him come with us if I tried. We got out with our lives and what was in our pockets.

When we had found relative safety we cried for Odin and our goats. I was sure I had sentenced them to a horrific and agonizing death.”

The family was able to return to their property a few days later, and they thought they were going to find a charred scene of thick sadness. And they sort of did. Everything they owned was destroyed, but Odin, the goats and an orphaned deer were alive! Odin was busted down, weak and his fur had been singed by the flames from exploding propane tanks, but he hadn’t gone to Jesus. Even an orphaned deer knew that Odin was the one to stick with and stuck by him.

Odin has pretty much recovered, and a groomer cut out the singed parts of his coat for free. But Odin, his sister Tessa and the goats are now homeless and thirsty since their shelter and pumphouse burned down. So Roland started a campaign on YouCaring to raise money for a new shelter and pumphouse for the family’s pets. Roland’s $45,000 goal has already been met and is on its way to being doubled.

Here’s a little video of Odin sniffing his sister’s ass while frolicking with the goats he saved:

Roland also said that Odin, who was named after the Norse God, has lived up to his namesake and is their inspiration.

Odin re-defined ride-or-die by sticking with those goats, and he has also earned the right to never be yelled at for anything. If Odin shits on the rug in the future, Roland shouldn’t yell at him. Roland should apologize for not laying down a sheet of cashmere for him to caca on. If Odin steals a piece of pizza off of Roland’s plate on the dinner table, Roland shouldn’t yell at him. Roland should offer to cut the pizza slice up into easily digestible pieces. Odin earned that!

Pic: YouCaring (For Lisa and Margaret)

Chris Evans And Jenny Slate May Have Gotten Back Together

Film premiere of 'Gifted' - Arrivals

When Chris Evans and Jenny Slate reunited at the Gifted premiere back in April (seen above), it was a little awkward. Chris and Jenny had split a few months earlier, but they talked about each other in ways that sounded like they were pulled from the first chapter of a book called Avoiding Bad Breakup Publicity 101. As it turns out, they might have meant all the nice things they said. According to UsWeekly, Captain America and Niece Denise are possibly back together again.

Sources say that Chris and Jenny were seen on back-to-back dinner dates in Atlanta, GA last weekend. Avengers: Infinity War has been filming in Atlanta since the summer. On Friday, Chris and Jenny “seemed” like they were on a date.

“They seemed like a couple. [They were] laughing. He reached across and touched her arm a couple of times. They seemed like normal people on a date.”

The next day, they had a double-date with Robert Downey Jr. and his wife Susan at a restaurant called Better Half. The restaurant Instagrammed a picture of Captain America and Tony Stark with some of their chefs.

Sometimes we have the chance to feed heroes. Last night, it was these exceptional gents.

A post shared by Better Half (@betterhalfcook) on

A second source says that Chris and Jenny “looked very much together.” That’s probably my favorite way to describe someone’s couple status. “At what degree would you say they looked together?” “Oh, very much.

So Chris and Jenny had dinner twice, and looked “very much together.” But I won’t believe any of this until Chris or Jenny talk at length in an interview about how much they’re obsessed with each other. Normally that would be the sort of thing that would threaten to gag my larynx out. But with the news we’ve been having lately, that ship has sailed. I think I can handle their sappy grossness now.

Pic: Wenn.com

Nobody Wants To Wear Marchesa Anymore

Weinstein Company and Netflix Golden Globes After Party - Arrivals

Ever since The New York Times officially uncovered Harvey Weinstein to be the diddler on the roof a lot of people knew him to be, it’s been a fashion nightmare. No, not because we have to see photos of Harvey in all those ill-fitting suits, but because his wife co-runs a fashion label that is reportedly tanking. 

Georgina Chapman, Harvey’s wife who left him after all this shit came to light, is a co-founder of Marchesa. Marchesa has been dragged into Harvey’s mess, because he put money into the brand and reportedly forced actresses like Felicity Huffman to wear the label on the red carpet – or else! Marchesa was recently dropped from a planned collaboration with Helzberg Diamonds since associations with rape and sexual harassment are most certainly not a girl’s best friend. Marchesa also cancelled a presentation of its latest collection, and it seems like customers and employees are fleeing the scene.

Page Six (via Vanity Fair) chatted with a Connecticut-based wedding stylist with the most Connecticut-sounding name, Diane Lloyd Roth, about her customers no longer wanting to wear the label down the aisle:

“I tell my brides to bring [pages] from magazines, and [Marchesa is] always included. [Some clients] were going to go look at Marchesa . . . and now they’re getting cold feet. They don’t want the association. The first question when someone’s getting married is, ‘Who are you wearing?’”

Runaway brides aren’t the only problem. Employees are also ditching the label because of the sullied reputation and kinda nutty work environment. A fashion publicist snitched:

“Everyone is trying to leave. Harvey would call Marchesa employees and yell at them, scare the shit out of them. It’s a tough place [to work].”

Georgina is apparently relying on the other co-founder, Keren Craig, for support through the bad times since they go way back to when they were design students in London in the late-90s. Now that Harvey’s out of the picture, I wouldn’t flee too fast, Marchesa minions. You know what’s a really tough place to work? The office where the boss’ name sounds like a season and she forces you to carry her delicate self down a flight of stairs!

Pic: Wenn.com

Will Smith’s Latest Single Sucks

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Will Smith has GOT to stop listening to Jaden Smith’s career advice. Yes, we get it Jaden, you’re edgy and hip and have your finger on the pulse of youth culture in all its varied forms, but you gotta know that club music is gonna be a real stretch for your middle-aged dad.

According to Vulture, on the evening of October 6th, under the cover of darkness, Will quietly released his “EDM” song Get Lit, his first single in 12 years. And man did it blow up! In his face that is. It’s terrible. Deeply, deeply awful. But you don’t have to take my word for it.

I think the worst thing about it is its utter laziness. The video is a mish-mash of lights and sounds all working to distract the eye and ear from what’s really going on. And what is going on exactly? Well, Will appears to begin by “singing” in a very sketchy pan-Caribbean patois, mahn. Irie. That goes on for some time and when the fog, foam and psychedelic light show reaches peak Midnight Cowboy, the beat drops and Will starts rapping… Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It. He does that for a second until he realizes that was the wrong song, “Oh shit what’s this one, Get Lit with it! Yeah, that’s it, I’m back in the groove now, suckers. This one’s for you, Jaden!

It’s painful to watch Will try to pump up the crowd. And even though they have on their best club gear, nobody seems to be having a whole lot of fun. Even at Burning Man or Ibiza, you could probably have a decent time if you tried hard enough. You know, take some molly and enjoy some techno music, what have you. Not so much at whatever Carnival fun ship cruise rave party Will Smith is throwing.

I’m sure there are words in this song but since Will clearly didn’t spend much time thinking about them, I don’t see why I should have to. This music is terrible. I hope Jaden is embarrassed by this and will leave “resurrect dad’s rap career” off his to do list moving forward.

This is actually much better.

Pic: Facebook

Kara Del Toro Is Amazing

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Here is Instagram model Kara Del Toro. I’ve been following her for some time and the girl is really hustling her social media hard. She has a half a million followers and growing fast. However, there is only one follower she should care about and that is me. I have been known to make women’s dreams come true.

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Johnny Depp Is Suing His Former Lawyers Now

Tokyo premiere of 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales'

It’s been a minute since Johnny Depp’s messy money troubles with his former management company, and the situation has gotten messier. Johnny is now suing his former lawyers. But wait, it gets better: He’s accusing them of conspiring against him with his former management company with an evil plot to rob him blind.

Johnny Depp filed a $25 million lawsuit against his former business managers at The Management Group back in January. TMG shot back, saying that Johnny is going broke because he spends his money on stupid rich guy shit. Johnny filed another lawsuit yesterday, this time against Jacob A. Bloom and the entertainment law firm Bloom Hergott Diemer Rosenthal LaViolette Feldman Schenkman & Goodman, LLP (who he hired back in 1999). He claims that Bloom ripped him off, all thanks to some financial sloppiness from TMG.

According to People, Johnny alleges that TMG took out huge secret loans on his behalf and repaid them with residual payments from movies. Johnny claims TMG wasn’t the only one taking out loans on his dime. He accuses Bloom and his pals at BHDRLFS&G of taking out a hard interest loan with a huge interest rate and manipulated the terms of the loan for their own financial benefit, as well as for the benefit of TMG.

Due to the terms of the loan, Johnny claims he lost out on about $32 million in residual payments from his movies over a three year period. He also claims he’s responsible for $5 million on the loan, which “continues to capitalize substantial interest at unreasonable rates” and fees. Damn, where did they get this loan, a shady E-Z-cash payday storefront in a strip mall next to a Little Caesars?

Johnny also accuses them of collecting over $30 million in voidable contingent fees. That would put Johnny’s lost money total up to…shit, I lost count. A billion? Probably.

TMZ says that this situation was made more questionable by the fact that Jacob Bloom and BHDRLFS&G kept Johnny as a client for a number of years, in which he paid them tens of thousands of dollars in attorney fees. And never once did they have Johnny sign a retainer agreement.

Here’s where Johnny figured TMG and Bloom and Co. were working together. A former TMG employee who was in charge of the day-to-day management of Johnny’s account allegedly testified that Jacob Bloom submitted hundreds of thousands of dollars in “expenses” to TMG with zero explanation.

TMG then, allegedly, paid them without question using Johnny Depp’s funds. Johnny alleges that nothing was sent to him for approval. To be fair to TMG, Johnny lives his life in a constantly state of pirate cosplay. Maybe they did try to send him approval requests, but no one at TMG could figure out the whole old-timey message in a bottle situation.

Pic: Wenn.com

Ivanka Trump Claims To Have Had A “Punk Phase”

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I don’t trust anybody named Trump as far as I can throw them. Ivanka Trump, perhaps the most easily tossed Trump, is no exception. So when Ivanka says she went through a “punk phase”, I’ve got to go see my ophthalmologist for severe spraining of the eyeballs. Ivanka wrote a chapter in her mom Ivana Trump‘s book Raising Trump, and because she’s a bad liar, she revealed that she used to shoplift tampons with GG Allin back in the day. Or close to it!

According to the New York Daily News:

“My wardrobe consisted of ripped corduroy jeans and flannel shirts,” Ivanka wrote in a chapter of Ivana Trump’s “Raising Trump,” which was released on Oct. 10. “One day after school, I dyed my hair blue. Mom wasn’t a fan of this decision. She took one look at me and immediately went out to the nearest drugstore to buy a $10 box of Nice’ n Easy. That night she forced me to dye my hair back to blond.”

Oh, Ivanka. If you’re gonna lie about being into something, you’ve GOT to do your homework. You are describing mall grunge, sweetheart. If you asked Ivanka who her favorite author was she’d say something like Philip Roth. Then you’d ask her which book of his is her favorite and she’d say, “Oh, I don’t know, I just love them all so much.” But in reality she only reads Cosmo and has had Atlas Shrugged open to page 2 on her bedside table for a decade. At most, Ivaka had one pair of very expensive ripped jeans and a single flannel from L.L. Bean she stole from Donny Jr.’s Fall Hunting Outfits closet.

I also call foul on that hair dye story. Ivanka ramped up the incredulity factor by adding:

“The color she picked out was actually three shades lighter than my natural color … and I have never looked back!”

Girl, please stop lying. Do you know what a fucking mess that would make? Blue hair dye, even if it’s just Manic Panic (which I’m sure it was, if it happened at all) is a mess. No way Ivana let that go down in one of the Trump bathrooms. I’m really supposed to believe that Ivana walked her daughter to Walgreens and had the skill and patience to turn her jacked-up blue hair into a professional bleach job with a $10 box of Nice ‘n Easy? Pssssssh. Ivana called down to the salon and said, “I ham zending her down now, she hass been very naughty. Her daddy must never know.

Ivanka also swears that she was devastated when Kurt Cobain died. She claims she cried uncontrollably for 24 hours before her mom finally had enough and made her come down for dinner. Now this I totally believe. THIS rings true. Ivanka absolutely seems the type. What an incredible opportunity for unhinged histrionics by feigning grief in order to gain sympathy, attention and cool points for appearing so affected!

Pic: Instagram

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