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Jessica Andrea Instagram: Best Photos & Must-See Pictures

Jessica Andrea is a model, singer, and social media sensation born in Los Angeles, CA. She’s known for posting funny videos and pics, and footage of her recording music. She has a massive following online with over 520,000 subscribers on her YouTube channel, 820K followers on Instagram, and another 125K on Twitter.

If you follow her, you know she’s a serious Disney fan, loves pups, and has been married to rapper Logic since 2015. Unfortunately, the two announced they were splitting up in March 2018, bringing an end to their three-year marriage. Her fans are pretty torn up that they won’t be seeing any more vids of the young couple on YouTube, or poses like this:

She still has a music career of her own though. Her pop-friendly vocals, that Logic has thoroughly supported, boasts popular singles such as “Medicine,” “Fake It,” and “Gossip Girl.”

 

Night Crumbs

Dr. Neri Oxman, the MIT professor who may or may not be getting it on with Brad Pitt, was papped at her job again. Her style is very “Angelina Jolie playing a goth scientist on a spaceship in a sci-fi movie.” I’m waiting for the tabloids to say that Neri was carrying a book that she planned to show Brad right after they bone on the terrifying alien larvae chair she designed. I hope that book is mostly pictures or Dr. Neri’s post-bone buzz is going to be killed while defining the big words for Brad – Lainey Gossip 

Congratulations to Cherry Blossom from Riverdale, she’s reached that level of fame where the paps actually show up when she calls – Drunken Stepfather

If there was going to be an Elton John biopic, I was hoping for Tom Hardy to play him, and I was also hoping that it would be a gay porn parody. But I guess the dude from Kingsmen will do – Towleroad

Hmmm, I wonder if Prostitution Whore-ah is also going to let Bravo’s cameras film her filing for divorce two weeks later? – Reality Tea

CBS has renewed Survivor for its 4,985,985,984th season – SOW

CupcakKe is an artist, poet, classical musician, epitome of elegance, AND an Juilliard graduate-worthy actress too.  There’s really nothing she can’t do – OMG Blog

I read and loved all three books in the Crazy Rich Asians series (because it has everything I need in a book: glamour, diamonds, hot dudes, and words I understand), so I have high hopes for the movie. But no to that song choice and the teaser trailer looking like a show for The CW – HuffPo

When all of us see a big pile of old TVs, we see a junkyard. But when the Coachella wrecks see a big pile of old TVs, they see an Instagram pic opportunity –  Hollywood Tuna 

Kiki Dunst is still pregnant – Popoholic

The dark-sided Kartrashian empire of fame whores has crumbled…a bit – Just Jared

Pic: Backgrid

No Charges Will Be Filed In The Death Of Prince

After Prince made heaven a sexier place in 2016, the Midwest Medical Examiner’s office declared that he died of an accidental fentanyl overdose. Fentanyl is also what took Michael Jackson and Tom Petty. An investigation into Prince’s death was opened, and today Carver County attorney Mark Metz announced that the investigation is now closed. And unlike in the case of Michael Jackson, nobody will be charged and no one will go to prison.

According to CNN, Mark Metz said in a press conference that Jehovah’s Sexiest Witness had no idea he was taking fentanyl. Prince did have an opiate addiction, and some Vicodin pills he bought turned out to be counterfeit. They were laced with fentanyl. I guess the Carver County prosecutors don’t have a Detective La Toya Jackson on staff, because they failed to get to the bottom of EVERYTHING. They weren’t able to find out who Prince bought dirty Vicodin pills from, and there’s no evidence that proves people around him knew he was really taking fentanyl. Why do I have a feeling that during their investigation, prosecutors got a voicemail on their tip line from a mystery woman with an Irish accent who said, “Check out that shifty dick sucker Arse-inio Hall.

Prince had crazy amounts of opiates in his system at the time of his death, and investigators believe he also took one or more of those fentanyl-laced Vicodin pills. None of the medications found in Prince’s house were prescribed to him, and that’s got his cousin Charles “Chazz” Smith pissed. Chazz is mad at those in Prince’s life who knows where he got those kiss of death Vicodin pills from. Chazz gave this statement to CNN:

“I know the DEA and the investigators and all of the law enforcement people went through Prince’s house with a fine-tooth comb and conducted this investigation to the best of their abilities. My hats off to them.

I’m not outraged at them. I’m outraged by people in Prince’s inner circle not speaking up about what really happened. Those people who were around him when he died, they know what went on.”

Dr. Michael Schulenberg, a doctor who saw Prince twice in the weeks up to his death, agreed to pay $30,000 to settle a case where he was accused of violating the Controlled Substances Act. Dr. Michael allegedly put a Percocet prescription in the name of Prince’s drummer, Kirk Johnson, knowing that The Purple One was going to take that shit. Dr. Michael denies the accusations.

After today’s press conference, the County Carver Sheriff’s office released all records in the investigation into Prince’s death, including a picture of his dead body (don’t make me link that…).

So now that the investigation into Prince’s death is over, authorities can focus their attention on another Prince-related travesty. They can investigate as to whether or not Justin Timberlake committed a crime against humanity by putting Prince’s image on wet laundry drying in the breeze. The punishment is: LIFE IN PRISON, and what’s really bad for JT is that I don’t think that any prison salon offers Brazilian blowouts.

And let’s end this sad post on a note that’ll heat your loins up so much you’ll have to dip ’em in a bowl of burn cream afterward. Prince’s estate released a video of the original studio recording of Nothing Compares 2 U, and they added some video of him swishing, swaying, twirling, and getting the floor pregnant in his cha-cha heels.

Pic: Wenn.com

Tiffany Haddish Is Now One Of Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People

Tiffany Haddish is, by far, the patron saint of the Glow Up. After teaching us the art of fruit-flavored fellatio in last year’s blockbuster hit Girl’s Trip and a critically acclaimed hosting gig on Saturday Night Live (wearing her trademark white Alexander McQueen dress) she is the definition of ‘Living My Best Life’. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s been worth it. And now after all her years of struggle she’s snagged a spot on Time’s 100 Most Influential People’s list, along with Cardi B, Nicole Kidman, Christian Siriano, Lena Waithe, JLo, Prince Harry, Meghan Markle, Rihanna, and Janet Mock.

Tiffany also was recently interviewed by W Magazine  to discuss how she rose through the ranks to be among Hollywood’s elite after facing a multitude of challenges. She spoke of her childhood, which was marred by poverty, an absentee father and a car collision that left her mother severely brain damaged. The accident changed Tiffany’s life completely.

Haddish and her four younger half-siblings were in and out of foster care and were ­eventually raised by their grandmother, who asked Haddish to leave once she turned 18 and was no longer eligible for foster care payments. Later on, Haddish had a terrible marriage but, even after she and her husband split up, Haddish couldn’t quite shake him off and wound up marrying him again. After they finally divorced for good, she was briefly homeless and lived out of her car, parking it in Beverly Hills “because,” she said, “I’ll be homeless with class.”

When she was 15, amidst scratching and surviving at home like the Evans family from Good Times, a social worker nudged her to participate in the Laugh Factory Comedy Camp, where she met comic legend Richard Pryor. He gave her a piece of advice that we all should live by; “You need to have fun.”

That philosophy seems to be working out for, and whether she’s hosting SNL in the McQueen dress, or presenting during the Oscars in the McQueen dress, or…wait. Hole up. Tiff. You got money now. What’s up with you wearing the same shit all the time??

“Here’s the story of that dress: I hired a stylist for Girls Trip, and she said, ‘Girl, if you’re trying to make it to the next level in your career, you’re going to have to spend a little money.’ I said, ‘I’m down to look my best. Whatever it takes.’ ” The stylist brought several options, and the only one that fit her body was the McQueen. It was perfect. “I should’ve known—wasn’t no price tag on that dress. So I wear it for Girls Trip, and then they give me the receipt. When I saw the receipt, I cried. The dress was $4,122! So I’m wearing it multiple fucking times. I don’t care what nobody say—that’s a down payment on a car, that’s a medical bill. So, even though everyone says I shouldn’t wear the dress in public again, I’m wearing it.”

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I love me some Tiffany Haddish. But $4,122 for that simple-ass white dress?! This is why you always look at the price tag no matter what. And it’s not like Tiffany could return the dress and say that she never wore it. That wouldn’t fly, because there was picture proof….unless she told the Alexander McQueen people that although the dress looked a lot like theirs, the one she wore was actually a $19.99 knock-off she bought on eBay. Yeah, I would’ve tried that.

Pic: Time

 

 

Michelle Williams Is Getting Married

Earlier today, Michelle Williams (the Destiny’s Child one) hopped announced on Instagram that on March 21st, her boyfriend Chad Johnson (not the Ochocinco one) popped the question. How kind of Michelle Williams to wait until after Beyoncé’s big day before announcing her engagement. I know everyone makes Poor Michelle jokes, but it’s obvious that Michelle wasn’t being ignored all those years; she’s just a selfless soul who doesn’t attempt to upstage others.

Michelle shared a gallery of engagement pictures on Instagram, and wrote:

“On March 21, 2018, the love of my life @chadjohnson77 proposed and I said ‘Yesssssssss…..I will, I will, I will!!!'”

Chad, who is a pastor, proposed on vacation with a ring he’d been saving up eleven years for. Please note: Chad and Michelle have only been dating for about a year. Chad says he started saving after turning 30 and feeling “so lonely.” So he put $150 a month into a ring account to be used for his future fiancée.

Michelle doesn’t say when the wedding will be, or if any of Destiny’s Children will be her bridesmaids. But you know Beyoncé will be invited, which will no doubt make things awkward for God up in heaven that day. “My faithful servant Chad, blessings be to you on your – OMG is that Beyoncé in the front row?! Jesus, get over here and look!

Pic: Instagram

Open Post: Hosted By Three Aunties Reacting To Taylor Swift’s Cover Of “September”

There are few things more powerful on this earth than three black women of a certain age, standing in a circle. This is called an Auntie Triptych and it has the power to create life, destroy life and hand you a banging plate to go. One does not fuck with an AT, and you don’t summon their powers unless you have a damn good reason. Say for instance, Taylor Swift does a cover of Earth, Wind & Fire’s September, the sacred song of the Aunties. That would be a good reason.

If anybody had any doubts about Taylor’s breathy rendition of the classic and its impact on the culture, this Auntie Triptych offer their official ruling.

As you can see, Taylor’s September caused the assembled AT to assume the forms of Pressed, Perplexed and Amused. Pressed, the Auntie in the red vest, probably has Taylor out looking for a switch right now. Perplexed, the one on the left, looks like she just smelled a fart and can’t believe a fart could really be that nasty. Did somebody actually shit themselves in here? Amused will probably wake up cackling for years to come remembering that time that little blond girl tried to come for September.

Official Auntie Triptych Ruling: Quit messin’.

Pic: Twitter

Blake Shelton And Gwen Stefani Probably Aren’t Getting Married Any Time Soon

It feels like ever since Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani got together back in 2015, any mention of their names is usually followed with a rumor that she’s mere moments from line-dancing down the aisle of a decorated barn to a ska version of Here Comes the Bride. That, or someone is screaming that she’ll soon be delivering Cracker Barrel’s newest customer. But Blake has said that marrying isn’t something he’s rushing into.

People says that Blake was recently asked by CMT’s Cody Alan about whether or not he and Gwen were going to get married. Blake kept it kind of vague with his answer:

“I think about it. I don’t think it’s anytime soon or anything. The more time that goes by, I guess, the closer you’d be getting to that.”

It also sounds like Gwen is on the same page as Blake, which is that marriage is something they want, they just don’t know when. Gwen was on Ellen last week to reveal some “big news.” The news was not that Gwen would be getting married to People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2017 (it was that Gwen would soon behave her own residency in Las Vegas). When Ellen DeGeneres tried to confirm any rumors that they’d be getting married soon, Gwen played coy and tried to change the subject, asking how Ellen feels about marriage instead. When pressed by Ellen if she ever thinks about marriage, she answered:

“I do. I think about it all the time.”

Maybe they’re just trying to throw everyone off the scent of their super-private wedding. What am I saying? It’s Blake and Gwen; she would sooner let her roots grow in than keep quiet about Blake. The truth is that through all the marriage teasing, they’re probably not actually getting married in the near future. Looks like I’ve got to throw out the wedding gift I made for them. A sculpture of Blake and Gwen sharing one Voice chair carved out of country smoked ham won’t last forever.

Pic: Wenn.com

The Strange Tale Of The Drag Queen And The Possibly Dead Uber Driver

Season 8 RuPaul’s Drag Race contestant Robbie Turner, whose actual name is Jeremy Baird, might be the fishiest queen in Drag Race herstory. And that’s not because Robbie’s tuck is sublime, it’s because a story Robbie posted on Twitter and Facebook about getting into a fatal accident while riding in an Uber, sounds fishy as fuck.

According to The Stranger, Robbie, who lives in Seattle, posted a harrowing take on Twitter and Facebook about waking up after the accident and not really being sure exactly what happened. Robbie only knew that the driver died.

In a subsequent tweet, Robbie revealed more details about the accident.

Understandably, there was an outpouring of sympathy and concern for Robbie. As The Stranger points out, Robbie is an international personality thanks to RPDR and the story received coverage from a number news outlets including Queerty, NewNowNext, and Instinct. Problem is, the only real source for this story is Robbie. In attempting to cover the story, The Stranger began doing due diligence by fact checking, and started coming up with more questions than there are Miss Vanjie memes.

The stranger tried to contact Robbie but did not hear back. They contacted Uber who said they had no knowledge of a fatal accident that night and had been trying to reach Robbie themselves but were unsuccessful. When The Stranger followed up again after the story blew up, Uber still had no confirmation that any such accident had occurred.

The Stranger also reached out to the coroner’s office for information on fatal crashes and they in turn, directed them to The County Public Health Communications Director. They said that they aren’t staffed to report on DUI crashes and directed them to the Seattle PD. That spokesperson said they were “not aware of anything like that occurring, nor are any of my colleagues aware of this accident”.

By this time, the story started smelling fishier than a Shamu shit. Fellow season 8 Drag Race queen Kim Chi also got in on side-eyeing Robbie.

The Stranger still has not been able to corroborate the story. Some local Seattle commenters and folks on Twitter suggest that this might not be Robbie’s first foray into the murky waters of making shit up for attention and general scam-foolery. Robbie hasn’t responded yet but did tweet promo for her show:

Luuucy, you got some ‘splain’ to dooo!! Only time will tell if Robbie’s telling lies, half-truths, imagined truths or is simply trying to pull of the gag of the century. To which I say: Miss Vanjie.

Pic: Instagram

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