Posts tagged bikini
Who did I need to suck off back when I was in high school on order to get a reality show based around my life? That’s right, Kristin, we have not forgotten that you had your start on MTV starring in a show that plagued my teen years. She may think she can live the quiet life of a professional athlete’s wife, but we all know the real reason why we know her name.
And to think, had she been born one year earlier she would be another Jane Doe that you could pass by on the street. She would be a very hot Jane Doe and one that I would fantasize about later, but a Jane Doe nonetheless.
What if I had been born in a different year, and went to a different school? Maybe I could have been the star of a high school reality show and then the rest of my life would be different. Or maybe I would have been better suited for the role of the best friend given how dull my love life was back then. Just think of all the great and productive members of our society who had their starts on shows like that. There are so many that I cannot even come up with a single name right now.
Photo Credit: Backgrid USA
It’s interesting that the name of the babe I’m most infatuated with at the moment happens to be Melissa Casta. Because her beauty, body, and attractive face has casta spell on me. I can’t look away or pay attention to anything or anyone else when I see her. Obviously there’s some kind of magic going on here. I’m not saying that this woman is a witch but she sure knows a trick or two. And her managing to care enough to bring her small canine friend is a plus in my book. Only a truly kind woman would bring her dog to the beach. She knows that no puppy should be left behind when there’s fun to be had. Melissa is seductive and selfless, it’s everything I ever wanted in a woman.
Maybe Melissa should contemplate about bringing me the next time she’s at the shore. I can be the person to make sure that both her and her animal are 100 percent dry after a swim. Like an official caretaker with a towel. I would eventually become invaluable to her beach experience. So much so that she would be forced to bring me along every time.
Photo Credit: Splash News / Instagram
Israeli socialite Hofit Golan has one of those names that, when you say it out loud, it sounds like you’re mispronouncing something in another language. Whether you’ve got a New York accent, a Midwest accent, a Southern accent, or standard Mid-American one, it’s a name that sounds like you’re butchering the actual name of something else.
While I may not be big on her name, I can’t deny that Hofit here has an amazing rack. I mean, damn, that’s a great pair, and she knows how to pick out a bikini that nicely accentuates what are, arguably, her best assets.
I must also admit that the term “Israeli socialite” also sounds like an oxymoron, like “American genius” or “British pussy inspector.” It just doesn’t add up to me, but then again, I don’t know much about Israeli nightlife, other than clubs get blown up a lot by extremists. It’s gotta be tough to get your socialite game off the ground when all of the hot spots in town are literally on fire.
Nevertheless, I’m glad that Hofit is stepping out and showing off her spectacular breasts. I wouldn’t mind hitting up a Tel Aviv discotheque with her, that’s for sure!
Photo Credit: Splash News
Just what exactly do Claudia and Melissa think they are doing by flaunting that level of sexiness on the beach? Do they not know that they have to have a permit to openly carry something like that in public? It is all right, I will let it slide this one time, but if I catch them doing it again then they could find themselves in the back of my vehicle.
I am not a cop, I just have a paneled van that could be useful in this scenario.
These two have to realize what they are doing to all of the wandering eyes at the beach. I refuse to believe that they are so enthralled in their own sure to vapid conversation that they do not know. Why else would they leave the dry and clean surface of their beach chair to instead kneel in the sand? In sand! One of the worst substances known to man.
Personally, I am all for the continued testing of nuclear weapons because they usually take place in deserts. That means with every bomb dropped we get one step closer to ridding this world of these sorry excuses for stones.
Photo Credit: Splash News / Backgrid USA