Scrapped Heathers Film Adaptation Goes International After School Shooting Craze

Pay no attention to Janie because Christian Slater’s got a gun. And he’s the reason why the Heathers film, now turned into a series, won’t be seeing a stateside release. The Paramount network planned on releasing a full 10 episodes worth of first season when it came to a rehashed Heathers project, but that was before the Parkland shooting. Who knew that at least one side effect of a school shooting could be positive. An angel gets its wings every time a Hollywood reboot is canned. Unfortunately, Paramount was only putting up a front and refused to lose money over crisis actors, conspiracy theorist, and outcast kids treating their classmates like the opposing team in a Call of Duty Kill Confirmed match. The finished project’s release was only partially canceled. A few places that matter outside of America, in addition to some randos that don’t, still get to see all 10 episodes without an issue.

Jason Micallef’s series adaptation of the ’80s cult classic was delayed and eventually scrapped by the fledgling Viacom network last month. Featuring suicides by several high school students and the destruction of a school building, the show was deemed too controversial to air on the ad-supported network in the weeks following the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. In a statement, the Viacom network said its decision to hit the pause button in the series was “right thing to do.”

It will instead air on HBO or its streaming service in Bosnia and Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Croatia, Czech Republic, Hungary, Kosovo, Macedonia, Moldova, Montenegro, Poland, Romania, Serbia, Slovakia, Slovenia, Denmark, Finland, Norway, Sweden, Spain, Andorra, Portugal, Angola, Cape Verde, Guinea Bissau, Mozambique, Sao Tome & Principe.

So I’m going to guess school shootings are a First World problem. Maybe Sasha Cohen was onto to something with giving kids guns. Because when you reside in a country where you’ve been a child soldier using an AK-47 longer than you’ve been able to form full sentences, random acts of violence aren’t that random. They’re the norm. Some celebrity waving a gun in school setting wouldn’t offend too many people from the list of places where the Heathers series release is being made available.

Photo Credit: Getty Images / Mr. Skin 

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Mark Zuckerberg Gives “Thumbs Up” To Holocaust Deniers


Sometimes I wonder why someone like Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg – who could live out the rest of his life in extreme luxury without ever lifting a finger or opening his trap again – continues to take on monstrously high-pressure responsibilities for a job he doesn’t financially need. Move to a palatial estate in Malibu where you can wake up every day to a hearty bowl full of blow, do more blow at the beach, and then have a nightcap of blow. At least that’s the retirement goal I detailed to the financial planner who came into my work. I’ve seen those commercials. We need to start planning now.

Most likely, men like Zuckerberg continue to run multi-billion dollar companies – and inevitably villainize themselves as they lose touch with reality – because of status and greed. Corporate America is one big dick measuring contest, and as Zuckerberg is just one big dick, he’s doing pretty well. Following his decimated Puerto Rican high-five that left the world aghast, it seemed like Mark couldn’t do much more to soil good name of the pathologically narcissistic social media tech tycoons who all suffer from varying degrees of Asperger syndrome.

But Zuckerberg – who again, could be in Malibu with a bowl of blow – just can’t shut up, and recently defended the rights of Holocaust deniers to preach the good word on Facebook. An interviewer from Recode initially used Sandy Hook shooting deniers as an example of people blurring the line between free speech and punishable hate speech on social media. Facebook has been grappling with how to categorize and address “fake news” in the wake of Russian’s involvement with the 2016 election. But Zuckerberg quickly segued, unprovoked, into a conversation about the social media rights of Holocaust deniers:

I’m Jewish and there’s a set of people who deny that the Holocaust happened. I find it deeply offensive. But at the end of the day, I don’t believe that our platform should take that down because I think there are things that different people get wrong. I don’t think that they’re intentionally getting it wrong.

Everyone gets things wrong and if we were taking down people’s accounts when they got a few things wrong, then that would be a hard world for giving people a voice and saying that you care about that.

“Things that different people get wrong?” I went to public school in Appalachia, where wearing shoes was a privilege, not a right, and even I learned about the Holocaust. And declaring his own religion as a way to excuse anti-Semitism is so twisted it’s going to take a therapist, and an exorcist, to address. Zuckerberg naturally faced backlash for his comments, but he quickly retorted (not apologized, as people are claiming) with:

I enjoyed our conversation yesterday. But there’s one thing I want to clear up. I personally find Holocaust denial deeply offensive and I absolutely didn’t intend to defend the intent of people who deny that.

That means nothing. That’s air. BBC News points to the fact that this is going down at the same time that Facebook’s “Fake news is not your friend” campaign ads are splashed across cities and on the web. Who is he helping here? What is his end game? Who uses Facebook anymore? Someone take away this guy’s phone, set him up at a mansion in Malibu, and get him that big delicious bowl of blow. It’s time.


Photo Credit: Instagram

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Priscilla Presley Holds Dead Dog At South Korea Protest


Ever since the PyeongChang 2018 Winter Olympics, people seem to have a renewed interest in the fact that a small percentage of South Koreans eat dogs. Olympic freeskier Gus Kenworthy adopted a South Korean dog that was on the chopping block (only to kill it himself from neglect (no matter what anybody says) and bury it stateside, which is, quite literally, wasting food) and now Priscilla Presley and Kim Basinger are joining in by protesting dog meat at a rally in Los Angeles. To be completely candid on the matter, I truly thought Priscilla Presley was dead. I was wrong. She just looks dead.

Basinger held a sign depicting dead dogs while Presley took things a step further by actually holding a dead dog for dramatic effect. It was recently euthanized by a local vet, according to TMZ. For what it’s worth, while the thought of dog meat is truly gruesome, it’s far from the grossest thing that Asian people eat. Kidding. That’s not me anymore. I’m not excited about the practice, but if you Google any animal commonly consumed as food in America, you can dig up something expounding the species’ cognizance and worthiness of life. BBC states “chickens are not stupid” and Popular Science states that fish “deserve better treatment from us.” Americans happen to revere dogs. Indians revere cows. We eat cows. We don’t eat dogs. Priscilla Presley looks like a dog. Full circle.

I am a meat eater, but I can say that our treatment of animals in the states is often so cruel and disturbing (link is to graphic video of cows) that to chastise another country for its treatment of animals before we have our shit together is laughable. Does Presley think that dogs are immune to harm in the US? She’s holding a dead one. I actually worked for a nonprofit spay and neuter service while in college, and can say that until even the wokest of people stop romanticizing the lovable neighborhood stray and litters of adorable but unvaccinated kittens and puppies that will grow to be mangled worm-ridden adults wishing they were eaten by South Koreans, we need to focus on our own animal problems. But really, honestly, getting back to today’s real takeaway, Priscilla Presley is alive?

See video of the Los Angeles protest here

Photo Credit: Instagram, Backgrid

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