Mieka

Mieka

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Radar Says That Abby Lee Miller Got Banned From A Prison Play Because Nobody Likes Her

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I barely made it past season two of Orange is The New Black but at least it’s given me a good working knowledge of the ins and outs of a women’s correctional facility. New arrivals should keep their head down, find a crew and not act whiny, privileged and obnoxious. Sounds like Abby Lee Miller, formerly of Dance Moms and currently of Cell Block 666, did not add “binge watch OITNB” to her pre-prison activities list because she’s totally pulled a Piper. According to Radar, everybody in prison hates her as much as everyone on the outside does.

Radar reports:

Abby Lee Miller’s dance career behind bars is over before it even started! RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned that fellow inmates have barred the 51-year-old former Dance Moms star from performing in the upcoming Fall Festival at California’s Federal Correctional Institute, Victorville, because they’re “fed up” with her bad attitude!

“The Fall Festival is where all of the women come together to celebrate. They put on dance skits and such. But they refused to even allow Abby to participate because they simply do not like her,” an insider told Radar.

Poor Abby! Barred from the one thing she was born to do; star as Roxie Hart in the Victorville State Pen production of Chicago! I bet she had been practicing so hard, doing a little Cell Block Tango after lights out and annoying everybody by screaming “I didn’t do it!” and “Lipshitz!” when everybody else was trying to sleep.

Radar adds:

“Aside from the few friends that she’s paid off with commissary cash, the majority of the women think she is a narcissistic bitch!”

Not our Abby Lee! She probably convinced her “friends” to use their commissary budgets to buy her makeup and costumes for the Fall Festival. She was going to use peanut butter for foundation, dab Kool-Aid powder on her lips and make a wig out of Top Ramen. She may be in the pokey but Abby still knows how to put on a show! But that’s all over now.

Sources say Abby insists she doesn’t deserve to be there and that she’s not being serious about what comes next. Since July, she’s been working on a 366-day sentence. Once she completes that, she’ll go off to a halfway house. Sadly, I have no doubt some network would love to do a show about the post-prison notorious child screamer-atter Abby Lee Miller. It worked for Roxie Hart. Why shouldn’t it work for Abby Lee?

Pic: Wenn.com

Will Smith’s Latest Single Sucks

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Will Smith has GOT to stop listening to Jaden Smith’s career advice. Yes, we get it Jaden, you’re edgy and hip and have your finger on the pulse of youth culture in all its varied forms, but you gotta know that club music is gonna be a real stretch for your middle-aged dad.

According to Vulture, on the evening of October 6th, under the cover of darkness, Will quietly released his “EDM” song Get Lit, his first single in 12 years. And man did it blow up! In his face that is. It’s terrible. Deeply, deeply awful. But you don’t have to take my word for it.

I think the worst thing about it is its utter laziness. The video is a mish-mash of lights and sounds all working to distract the eye and ear from what’s really going on. And what is going on exactly? Well, Will appears to begin by “singing” in a very sketchy pan-Caribbean patois, mahn. Irie. That goes on for some time and when the fog, foam and psychedelic light show reaches peak Midnight Cowboy, the beat drops and Will starts rapping… Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It. He does that for a second until he realizes that was the wrong song, “Oh shit what’s this one, Get Lit with it! Yeah, that’s it, I’m back in the groove now, suckers. This one’s for you, Jaden!

It’s painful to watch Will try to pump up the crowd. And even though they have on their best club gear, nobody seems to be having a whole lot of fun. Even at Burning Man or Ibiza, you could probably have a decent time if you tried hard enough. You know, take some molly and enjoy some techno music, what have you. Not so much at whatever Carnival fun ship cruise rave party Will Smith is throwing.

I’m sure there are words in this song but since Will clearly didn’t spend much time thinking about them, I don’t see why I should have to. This music is terrible. I hope Jaden is embarrassed by this and will leave “resurrect dad’s rap career” off his to do list moving forward.

This is actually much better.

Pic: Facebook

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