Allison

Allison

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Open Post: Hosted By What Banksy’s Paper Shredder Stunt Should Have Looked Like

Earlier this month, the 2006 painting “Girl With Balloon” by Banksy was sold at auction in London for $1.4 million. But instead of a Sotheby’s employee taking the painting down, the painting took itself down when it spontaneously began to shred itself through the bottom of its frame. Banksy ha ha ha‘d at home while rich people looked on in a frozen state of horror as the painting dissolved into ribbons before stopping about halfway. It wasn’t known why Banksy chose to shred just the lower half of the painting. But we now know Banksy had some trolling trouble, and that frame was supposed to shred the whole thing.

Banksy recently released a director’s cut video of the making of the shredding frame, as well as footage from the auction. Banksy notes in the video that the frame worked perfectly every time they rehearsed it in the studio. At the 2:39 mark you can see the test picture slide straight through like spaghetti through the pasta attachment for a Kitchen Aid stand mixer. Honestly Banksy, next time use the pasta attachment, those things are fool proof.

It’s kind of a good thing the stunt fucked up halfway through. That way you’re left with a janky frame and half a shredded painting hanging out of it, and who wants that? If it had worked, you’d be left with what could be considered a complete Banksy art installation, and you know all those rich art snobs would have jumped on that. “Okay, item 68 – a pile of shredded ribbons that used to be a Banksy painting. We’ll start the bidding at $1.5 million…

Pic: YouTube

Dame Judi Dench Will Play Old Deuteronomy In The “Cats” Movie

Hollywood is currently making a film about a large group of cats, and I wish deep down in my soul it was about Bella Thorne’s 19 cats, but it’s not. Of course we’re talking about the upcoming film adaptation of the musical Cats, which has added another member to the cast. Idris Elba will most likely play Macavity (has anyone made a “I’d let him bust one up in ma’cavity” joke yet?). Although it was also reported he could be playing Old Deuteronomy. That’s not going to happen, because Deadline says the part is going to Dame Judi Dench.

The character’s name is legitimately Old Deuteronomy, and he’s the wise, ancient leader of the cats. It was rumored that Sir Ian McKellen would play Old Deuteronomy, which would make sense, because he’s also on the older side and because Deuteronomy is a man cat. But in the film adaptation, they’re gender-flipping the character and making him a lady cat. Who Sir Ian is playing now is anyone’s guess.

Dame Judi has sort of had previous experience with Cats. In 1981 she was cast as Grizabella in the original West End production, but she busted her Achilles’ tendon before previews and had to pull out. I just hope that Dame Judi didn’t come with too many conditions this time around. Like that they come up with something for her poor, out of work friend Kevin Spacey. “I’m sorry Dame Judi, but we can’t write you in a creepy weasel sidekick.

Pic: Wenn.com

Kendall Jenner Is Pissed At TMZ For Revealing Where She Lives

Even though it’s likely the Kardashian-Jenner’s DNA is made up almost exclusively of molecules that thrive on attention, there is still some attention that is unwanted, and that’s the kind you get from a stalker. Kendall Jenner has recently been dealing with a stalker who broke into her home multiple times. No thanks to TMZ, who Kendall says has been blasting her home address all over the internet.

TMZ posted a story yesterday about a 37-year-old Canadian man named John Ford who has been obsessively stalking Kendall. John Ford was arrested last month after he broke into the gated community where Kendall lives. TMZ channeled their inner StarMaps by pointing out that Kendall lives in the same neighborhood as Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Charlie Sheen, and Christina Aguilera. John Ford reportedly scaled the mountain behind Kendall’s home and trespassed onto her property. But how did he know exactly which house was hers? Oh, probably because TMZ published a gallery of pictures of her house shortly after she bought it in October 2017. But in TMZ’s defense, so did many other sites and that info is public.

On Tuesday, John Ford was arrested at Kendall’s house after he was found sitting on her porch. He was held on a 5150 hold at a Los Angeles hospital. A psychiatrist deemed him mentally stable and released him on Wednesday. On Thursday, he was spotted by her security team hanging out by her pool. He ran off once he realized he had been seen, and was later arrested and held on $30,000 bail. TMZ posted a video after John’s arrest, which showed the mountains and hills behind Kendall’s home.

Police tell TMZ today that he can’t be held for very long, because he was only charged with misdemeanor criminal trespass. The maximum time he could serve is 6 months, but police sources say that due to overcrowding, he’d probably be released within hours. He can’t be deported back to Canada, because he hasn’t been charged with a violent felony.

Sources say that Kendall has increased security, and a fence is being installed behind her house. She’s also reportedly obtaining a restraining order against John Ford. Again, due to overcrowding, if John violates the restraining order, he could be in and out in a matter of hours.

Kendall hissed TMZ and re-tweeted the article with her house in it:

More security is a great idea. But the best security of all would be to set Kris Jenner up in Kendall’s backyard on a lawn. No security guards or packs of rottweilers are a match for the fear a man feels when Kris floats towards him with a contract and pen and whispers, “Trust me, there’s no life-ruining curse, I promise.

Pic: Wenn.com

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