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Posts by Allison
After Michelle Williams broke up with puppet enthusiast Jason Segel, she sort of kept her private life a little more mysterious. As it turns out, she’s been dating a NYC financier named Andrew Youmans, and UsWeekly says they’re getting married. A financier? Terrific, maybe he can sit down with her agent and figure out why the hell there were so many missing zeros on her All The Money In The World re-shoots check.
Michelle was seen with a heart-shaped diamond ring on her engagement finger at the Golden Globe awards earlier this month. When asked about it, she tried to pull a fast one and said it was just a piece of “beautiful jewelry.”
— Access (@accessonline) January 9, 2018
Yeah, beautiful jewelry that was presented by a guy with a case of patella splints from bending down on one knee.
Several sources tell UsWeekly that 37-year-old Michelle was fibbing, and she was actually wearing an engagement ring from her 50-year-old businessman boyfriend Andrew. One source says that Michelle chose Andrew because “she wants a good guy and a stable family life.” Another source says that the timing is right for her and her 12-year-old daughter Matilda.
“Michelle was totally focused on giving Matilda the best upbringing possible. It took her a long time to get over Heath.”
Michelle and Andrew were first seen together in Rome over the summer while Michelle was there filming ATMITW. A source told E! News earlier this month that Michelle and Andrew have been together for “longer than people think.”
Michelle Williams shares a tender kiss with handsome mystery man as they're joined by her daughter Matilda in Rome https://t.co/myzdP0yPwd
— Daily Mail Celebrity (@DailyMailCeleb) July 17, 2017
UsWeekly doesn’t know the circumstances surrounding Andrew’s proposal, but I have no doubt that before he gave Michelle that ring, he went old school by first asking for permission to marry her. No, not from Michelle’s dad. From Michelle’s best friend Busy Philipps. Everyone knows that if you want to get to Michelle, you’ve got to go through Busy first.
It didn’t take long after Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff announced they were over for stories to come out about how he’s moved on and was dating a “musician“. People also questioned who his rumored “musician” rebound was and the bets were being placed on Lorde. But don’t you dare ever think of Jack and Lorde in such a way! Whether or not Jack and Lorde are engaging in sacred heterosexual acts of boy-on-girl dating rituals is none of your business. Lorde confirmed she too wasn’t feeling the speculation by retweeting Jack’s tweet.
normally i would never address rumors but i resent having the most important friendships and working relationships in my life reduced to dumb hetero normative gossip. those relationships are deeply important and sacred. with that said, im not seeing anyone. lol.
— jackantonoff (@jackantonoff) January 17, 2018
Hetero normative gossip? I know Jack swears he’s single, but he and Lena Dunham really ought to think about finding a way to make it work between the two of them. They’re obviously soul mates.
And you hear that ladies? Jack is single and ready to mingle! But only if you’re seriously invested in such a deep commitment as dual-single mingling. No casual hook-ups need apply. Please provide letters of reference from at least two previous sacred relationships, as well as a brief description on what “deep” means to you.
Since September 2016, former USA Gymnastics team doctor Larry Nassar has been accused by 140 women, many who were minors, of sexual abuse. He was hit with several charges and pleaded guilty to molesting 10 girls. He’s already been sentenced to 60 years in prison on child porn charges, and faces another 25-to-life if enough of his alleged victims speak up in court. Nearly 100 women are expected to give victim impact statements in court.
The only problem was that some of his victims were threatened with a hefty $100,000 fine if they did speak out. Like former USA Gymnastics national team member McKayla Maroney, who accused Larry Nassar of molesting her starting at the age of 13. Many famous people offered to pay McKayla’s fine so she can testify, but they don’t have to do that now. USA Gymnastics released a statement last night assuring McKayla she wouldn’t get a $100,000 penalty for talking about Larry Nassar.
McKayla settled a lawsuit against USA Gymnastics in 2016 for $1.25 million. Part of that settlement stated McKayla would be fined $100,000 if she ever spoke about Larry Nassar. When Chrissy Teigen found this out, she offered to pay the fine so McKayla could help Larry the Pedo Guy get more prison time.
The entire principle of this should be fought – an NDA to stay quiet about this serial monster with over 140 accusers, but I would be absolutely honored to pay this fine for you, McKayla. pic.twitter.com/lsBEgEqZpD
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) January 16, 2018
Chrissy didn’t have to worry about paying it all. She was soon joined with offers to help from The Good Place creator Michael Schur, Kristen Bell, and Susan Sarandon.
I’ll split it with you. https://t.co/yp00LwJsNQ
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) January 16, 2018
I'll 1/3 it with you guys. https://t.co/XasgyGEg6E
— Kristen Bell (@IMKristenBell) January 16, 2018
I’ll 1/4 it with you guys. https://t.co/ygVf00GNZu
— Susan Sarandon (@SusanSarandon) January 17, 2018
That was very generous of Chrissy, Kristen, Susan, and Mose Schrute, but it’s not going to come to that. USA Gymnastics had a change of heart (or a moment of damage control clarity). Here’s their statement:
“USA Gymnastics has not sought and will not seek any money from McKayla Maroney for her brave statements made in describing her victimization and abuse by Larry Nassar, nor for any victim impact statements she wants to make to Larry Nassar at this hearing or at any subsequent hearings related to his sentencing. This has been her right and USA Gymnastics encourages McKayla and anyone who has been abused to speak out. USA Gymnastics remains focused on our highest priority — the safety, health and well-being of our athletes and creating a culture that empowers and supports them.”
McKayla filed a lawsuit against USA Gymnastics last month, accusing them of forcing her to sign an illegal NDA in order to allow Larry Nassar to quietly leave USA Gymnastics.
USA Gymnastics finally did something right by killing McKayla’s NDA. But I kind of wish they had waited just a little longer before releasing that statement. Just to provide some more time to allow the celebrity offers to keep snowballing, with the famous people getting more and more random and the fractions getting smaller. It would have been all too enjoyable to read a Twitter thread containing 256 verified Twitter users like Chrissy Teigen, Kristen Bell, the Aflac Duck, and the MoonPie account trying to work out the logistics of where they’re supposed to send a pile of checks worth $390 each.