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Posts by Allison
For those of you who aren’t part of Bachelor nation, the fellow above isn’t the result of scientists trying to make Michael Bublé look even more like a generic white guy. It’s Colton Underwood, the virgin bachelor from The Bachelor. And during MTV Movie & TV Awards, which aired last night, Colton won a golden popcorn trophy for Most Meme-able Moment. But I demand a recount, because he was up against Lindsay Lohan, who obviously should have won by a landslide.
Colton was nominated for that time when he jumped over a fence like a drunk frog to get away from the Bachelor cameras.
The other nominees for Most meme-able Moment were Ray J’s Hat from Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood, The Notorious RBG, Asia O’Hara’s dead butterfly moment from RuPaul’s Drag Race, and Lindsay Lohan’s dance moves.
The nominees really should have just been Lindsay, the announcer who screamed, “Honey, this is how you throw a party in Mykonos, bitch!“?, and the silver jumpsuit that provided Lindsay with enough freedom to move like a disco silverfish. And it would be a three-way tie, with two of the winners wondering where the trophy went, as a pawn shop owner tells Lindsay he can give her $20 for it.
But aside from that obvious oversight by MTV, the rest of the winners were pretty predictable. Avengers: Endgame won three awards, Game of Thrones won Best Show, Netflix’s To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before took home two, and Dan Levy won for Schitt’s Creek (an award I assume he celebrated backstage with a bottle of Herb Ertlinger Fruit Wines).
— MTV (@MTV) June 18, 2019
Lady Gaga also won two awards for A Star is Born: Best Performance in a Movie, and Best Musical Moment for “Shallow.” But she wasn’t there to accept the awards, because she’s too busy performing in Las Vegas. I’m not sure why Lady Gaga’s publicist didn’t think to send Bradley Cooper to accept on her behalf. Then again, she probably didn’t want to deal with another week of tabloids writing headlines like, “Did Bradley use the awards as door stops in their shared bedroom? Sources say: maybe!”
Here’s the list of all of last night’s winners and below that a gallery of the night’s looks:
Game of Thrones
Best Performance in a Movie
Lady Gaga, A Star is Born
Best Performance in a Show
Elisabeth Moss, The Handmaid’s Tale
Noah Centineo & Lana Condor, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before
Robert Downey Jr., Avengers: Endgame
Josh Brolin, Avengers: Endgame
Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta
Best Comedic Performance
Dan Levy, Schitt’s Creek
Noah Centineo, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before
Captain Marvel, Captain Marvel vs. Minn-Erva
Best Real-Life Hero
Ruth Bader Ginsburg, RBG
Most Frightened Performance
Sandra Bullock, Bird Box
Surviving R. Kelly
Nick Cannon, Wild ‘n Out
Most Meme-able Moment
The Bachelor, Colton Underwood jumps the fence
Best Musical Moment
A Star Is Born, “Shallow”
There’s a big reveal at the end of Taylor Swift’s new music video, “You Need To Calm Down” (aka “Taylor Discovered Drag Brunch“). Taylor spots her arch nemesis, Katy Perry, across a crowded food fight, and they embrace, thus ending their nearly five-year-long feud. Two grown women finally acted like grown women – albeit while dressed like children in a pageant about the food pyramid. As it turns out, Taylor and Katy’s hug wasn’t the peace dove we all thought it was, as they had already been friends for some time.
Taylor called in to the BBC Radio 1 Breakfast with Greg James yesterday to promote her new song and video, and she was asked about the Katy Perry moment. Taylor says that Katy has been her pal again for a little over a year. It started after Katy sent Taylor a letter and a literal olive branch on the opening night of Taylor’s Reputation Tour. Taylor was asked how Katy’s appearance in the video came about, and she answered:
“Well, we have been on really good terms for a while. She sent this beautiful note and an olive branch to the opening night of the Reputation Stadium Tour, a while ago. And from then on, we’ve been on good terms. And we hadn’t seen each other though, so the first time we saw each other was at this party. And when we saw each other, it was just very clear to both of us that everything was different, that we had grown up, we had grown past allowing ourselves to sort of be pitted against each other. It just was really really clear that we remembered how much we had in common.
And both of us have been in a really good place for a while, but I don’t think either of us really knew if we were going to talk about it publicly. So when I thought of this concept for this video, and I wrote the treatment, I thought of this idea, and I thought ‘I’m just going to ask her if she’d be interested in this, but I’d be totally fine if she’d rather keep it private between us.’ She was like, ‘I would love for us to be a symbol of redemption and forgiveness.'”
Taylor adds that she chose the burger and fries costume after Katy wore a burger costume designed by Jeremy Scott to a 2019 Met Gala after party.
— BBC Radio 1 (@BBCR1) June 17, 2019
What I’m hearing is that Taylor is the reason for taking the reunion public, and she’s the reason for Katy’s appearance in the video, and Taylor thought of the burger and fries thing. Taylor Taylor Taylor! Do I smell the start of a new feud? Is Katy Perry about to release a statement in which she passive-aggressively praises Taylor for attempting to put her own spin on the video for “This Is How We Do.” I bet their second attempt at friendship will be over the minute Taylor invites Katy to a party, and they start fighting over who will be the first to Instagram a selfie with the giant inflatable pool lounger shaped like a taco.
There was a time when Bill Cosby could go by the title of “America’s Dad,” and most people would agree with that. But then Bill Cosby became an irrefutable monster, and the title couldn’t be stripped off him fast enough. But Bill Cosby lives in a giant pudding cloud of delusion, which apparently means he still thinks he’s got paternity rights over America.
On Sunday the Twitter and Instagram accounts belonging to Bill wished everyone a Happy Father’s Day in a weird throw-back post about fathers and communities. He posted the following video to Instagram and Twitter, then a follow-up tweet containing a multitude of hashtags like “#FarFromFinished,” and “#AmericasFavoriteDad.”
Hey, Hey, Hey…It’s America’s Dad…I know it’s late, but to all of the Dads… It’s an honor to be called a Father, so let’s make today a renewed oath to fulfilling our purpose —strengthening our families and communities.#HappyFathersDay#RenewedOathToOurFamily pic.twitter.com/6EGrF87t6G
— Bill Cosby (@BillCosby) June 17, 2019
The clip is from an old CBS Black History Month special, and Bill is talking about how black fathers are systematically broken up from their families. Just some light stuff to go with your Father’s Day waffles. Lots of people saw Bill’s tweet and weren’t sure what was going on, because Bill is supposed to be in prison, and usually your phone gets checked at the door. So who was tweeting from Bill’s account? Well, TMZ says that it was Bill himself dictating what he wanted to say to his rep, Andrew Wyatt. Andrew spoke to TMZ about Twitter’s second most awful moment from this weekend, and he says that Bill called from prison on Sunday night and dictated the whole message over the phone. He apparently does this 3 to 4 times a month, whether it be over the phone or face-to-face.
As for Bill clinging to the title of America’s Dad, Andrew says that people shouldn’t be pissed off; that’s just Bill’s nickname in prison. You’re probably thinking “Sure, Jan,” but TMZ reports that Bill is playing up his father figure role in the big house. According to Andrew, lots of other inmates call Bill “their dad,” and he’s been lecturing on fatherhood about four times a week, for the past three months. Bill works with a group called Man Up, which primarily deals with inmates up for parole.
The lectures reportedly get about 100 people at them, and they’re all about inmates setting a good example for their own children and bonding with their kids when they get out. He also covers topics like how to interview for a job, how to keep said job when they get it, and how to stay clean, drug-wise, when they’re back on the outside. Bill lecturing about staying away from drugs? That’s rich. I joke, but really whoever organizes those Man Up lectures better be ready to cut off Bill’s mic on the day he utters the words, “Alright fellas, welcome to Relationships With Women 101.”